Thanksgiving

I'm grateful I'm not bleeding, on fire, or getting shot at, because not everybody can say that today.

I'm grateful that there are no foreign invaders in my country killing my family and friends, to bring us freedom and steal our oil.

I'm grateful for the trees that are left, and the air I can still breathe, and flowers and children and all that other happy horseshit.

I'm grateful for poverty, because it means there is nothing you can take from me, and I can say and do what I know is right instead of speaking to cover my wallet with both hands.

I'm grateful to Fox News, for gathering many of the liars and corporate stooges in one place, so we can keep an eye on them.

Most of all, I'm grateful that a president can only serve for two terms.